It's over

It's over. Two words. Technically a contraction of three words. Yet when you hear them they hit you like a ton of bricks. Even in those instances when it should be over; should probably have never started, it still smarts. It's like driving aimlessly. You aren't going anywhere but it's better than going home to an empty bed in an empty house.

It's over. Those words taste like failure. Just hearing them makes me want to take back all the things I said even if I meant them and they needed to be said. Perhaps it's my dysfunction rearing its head. The appeal of staying in something with no real benefit just to assure your self you're worthy. The truth is, no person defines our worthiness. However, that knowledge is cold comfort when you turn over and there's just the cool side of the mattress.

Maybe as enlightened as my outer adult is, my inner child is equally steadfast in maintaining the status quo. You'd think letting go would be easier when you didn't really have all that much to hold on to, in the first place. It's not. It's sadder even because I feel like I never got to prove myself. I never got the chance to show you how wonderful I am. Truth is it wouldn't have mattered but it would have been nice to trot it out and run it around the yard a couple of times. Rejection's a bitter curative but like castor oil it all works out in the end.

Fu Manchu and Middle Age

I'm getting ready to go out the other evening and I notice a hair on my chin. This is not uncommon for a woman of a certain age. I know that I am a certain age as I have crested the hill of 40 and am barreling down the other side. However with my age has come a degree of wisdom and comfort with myself. I understand more about my body. I'm secure in my sexuality and sensuality. I understand that there is more than enough of everything I'll need. So, like I said, I notice this hair. Now this isn't a soft downy hair but more of a Fu Manchu style whisker. So I'm thinking to myself. How do I not notice this? I look at myself everyday and I can't have become so complacent about my visage that I don't notice this. So I decide there's nothing to be done but pluck it out. Tweezers and alcohol and I'm good to go, you'd think. While the hair follicles on my head might be more forthcoming with the hairs than in my youth, my facial hair follicles have employed a new found strength, I wasn't aware of. I mean, I've been tweezing my eyebrows for a while so I have mastered the complexity of the tweezer, lest you think it was operator error. I rub the offending hair with alcohol to avoid infection and then grasp the firmly between the tweezer end and pull and out it will come. That is generally how this works. It's a thankless task. But no!!! Not only doesn't it plop out but the end of the hair breaks off so now I've got a stubborn short hair to try and pluck out. I won't bore you with the gory details, but suffice it to say it was a fight to the bitter end. Though, I prevailed. I got to thinking. This calls into question my initial take on a number of things. Namely the lovely gentleman who was talking to me and looking deeply into my eyes. Could it be he was looking intently at the hair instead? Now had it been placed circumspectly under my chin as most hairs are I would not have been so disheartened, but much like the wicked witch of the west, it flew freely and boldly on the chin. As with so many things, I have decided to take a philosophical approach to what may be an impending beard. I am not okay with the hair but resigned to the fact that while age brings with it wisdom, body acceptance and a new found appreciation of oneself, it also brings some other not so appealing things. I won't go into them, because the women who are dealing with them, already know what they are. A lot of you reading this may think I should not share this type of information with men. Whyever not? Though they may not share. they too have some stuff going on that they'd rather not think about. My thinking is this is the package that God has given me. It is fearfully and wonderfully made and I am thankful for it, Fu Manchu whisker and all.

Surviving Life's Transitional Moments
Job losses, layoffs, deaths, the end of relationships are all times of profound transition in our lives. How do we get past the changes and move forward in our lives.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/1702395/surviving_lifes_transitional_moments.html

National Poetry Month: You - Free Verse
It's the last day of National Poetry Month. We have been charged with the task of writing free verse. My chosen mode of writing. Hope you enjoy
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/1700793/national_poetry_month_you_free_verse.html

Perseverence

To keep going day after day in the face of what seem to be insurmountable odds is to persevere. Despite the best efforts of circumstances we keep going moving forward, ever mindful that despite what we face today, tomorrow's another day. The bible tells us that joy comes in the morning. One cannot continue to experience the dark night of the soul and greet the morning's joy. To co-opt a very popular ad campaign, life comes at you fast and so it behooves us to be vigilant. As you open your eyes and survey the world and realize that it wasn't a dream, know this, you will persevere. Despite the losses and the anguish you will survive and you will thrive. Be of good courage and take heart, you are not alone. There is someone somewhere who knows how you feel and they have overcome. Take heart that someone, somewhere has walked in your shoes. Be victorious and persevere.

Persistence

Persistence is the act of persisting. Persist is another way of saying don't give up. A friend sent me an inspirational story. Rather than try to remember it, I will simply reprint it here.

Giving Up Too Soon(Author Unknown)
A man meets a guru in the road. The
man asks the guru, "which way is success?"
The berobed, bearded sage speaks
not but points to a place off in the distance.
The man, thrilled by the
prospect of quick and easy success, rushes off in the appropriate direction.
Suddenly, there comes a loud "SPLAT."
Eventually, the man limps back,
tattered and stunned, assuming he must have misinterpreted the message. He
repeats his question to the guru, who again points silently in the same
direction.
The man obediently walks off once more. This time the splat is
deafening, and when the man crawls back, he is bloody, broken, tattered, and
irate.
"I asked you which way is success," he screams at the guru. "I
followed the direction you indicated, and all I got was splatted! No more of
this pointing! Talk!"
Only then does the guru speak, and what he says is
this: "Success IS that way. Just a little PAST splat.

It is tempting to just give up when the knocks get to be too much. However, Usually the blessing is just beyond the pain.

Believe in the Other Side

I recently wrote an article about a situation I went through and some people remarked on it. It got me thinking about trials and tribulations. Even to the most positive among us, things happen. The difference is how we get through it. Perseverence and perspective are two things that will serve you well no matter who you are. If you are dealing with something right now then you have no perspective. So let me encourage you. If you have stumbled on this page and trust me it's no accident if you have. Stop right where you are, whatever you're doing. If you're preparing to yell, curse, pop a cigarette in your mouth, take a sip of coffee or wine or even scotch, or maybe just bawl your eyes out. It could be a million other things. Whatever it is. Stop...... Take a long slow breath. Think about what's going on. Whatever it is. Perhaps the wolf or the barbarians are at the door. Maybe everyone is going to know. You will live through this. Let me repeat myself. You will live through this. You will be stronger and wiser and in time forgiven. Just hold on. I believe the fervent prayers of the righteous availeth much. Even if you aren't feeling particularly righteous, ask God to renew your mind. I mean ask him right now. Lord renew my mind. If you can't say anything but LOrd. Say it with your whole heart. If you aren't a particularly religious person and you're going through a lot of crap, perhaps now would be a good time to give the big man a chance. If you are not so inclined, then still believe help is nearby. You don't have to believe in him for him to believe in you. What ever the problem is, you will survive. You may be five or 95. If you're old enough to read this, you are going to be okay. Don't give up. Keep the faith and believe that you are coming out on the other side.

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Create Your Life

If money were no object, If fear were no object, what would your life look like? If you were the director of your movie and your budget was unlimited, who would star? Would you be an adventurer or a much sought after sleuth; a dynamic diva much admired throughout the world, a bestselling novelist sought after all around the world for your unique literary perspective, a performer selling out stadiums and hobnobbing with other stars, or a a bejeweled jetsetter rubbing shoulders with princes and kings. Would you be a philanthropist flush with enough cash, resources and willing workers to truly affect the world’s social ills?

Perhaps you prefer a simpler direction. A happy life, surrounded by people who care about your good above all things, a joyous marriage where you are very much in love with and attracted to one another, a deeper more profound spirituality, a successful business with positive cash flow and phenomenal profits or the ability to offer long term assistance to those hurting in your community or town.

Maybe you want to experience true wealth and prosperity in your mind, body and spirit. Many believe that being wealthy is about being rich, but if you are rich but spiritually or physically unwell then you are not truly wealthy because you are unable to live and experience your life fully. I'm sure you’ve heard the stories of people with all the money in the world who still commit suicide or turn to drugs because their minds are not at ease. They are casting about for true peace and prosperity, not just what money can buy.

Regardless to what your desires are, you can achieve them. The first step to doing anything is changing your mind. Creating a new mindset is key. The bible says to take every thought captive. That means to take control of your thoughts. When you take control of your thoughts your life will follow. Where you focus your energies that is what expands. Negative words, feelings and emotions beget negative circumstances. Positive words, feelings and desires beget positive outcomes. Have you ever met someone who is never happy, always had something bad to say about themselves or others or perhaps you are that person. You are never happy and you feel the world never goes right for you and sure as shootin’ it doesn’t go right. What we focus on persists. So the key is to change our focus, craft our thoughts, believe we deserve and are worthy of the good things that we desire and manifest them. Perhaps this sounds like some hocus-pocus but it is not. The bible says to call those things that are not as though they were and that if we believe faithfully the desires we pray for will be ours. Perhaps a note of caution. It’s been my experience that the things we desire should serve the highest good. That doesn’t mean that you can’t want cars or televisions or things like that but you must desire these things in a pure fashion, not to best someone else or to flaunt them. If you are in this type of mindset you are missing a crucial point. There is enough abundance for everyone, so for you to have does not mean that someone else will not have.

Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. To say this another way, faith is believing without seeing. Without seeing the how, the why, the when, we lock in on the belief in what we want to manifest. A tenant of faith is patience. This is the implementation of the Law of Attraction. In a nutshell, like attracts like.

So start to lock in those things you want to achieve. See your life as you would have it to be. Ask for those things you desire, believe that you deserve them, see them as already being yours and be grateful for the blessings you already have. Gratitude opens the door for more blessings.

Positive Thinking - A Primer

Therefore I say unto you, what things soever you desire when you pray, believe you receive them and you shall have them. Mark 11:24

Only Believe:

Two simple words, most times relegated to Peter Pan and his adventures. However, belief is the corner stone of positive thinking. We must first believe in the possibility of a thing and then the probability of a thing and finally the reality of a thing. Once we achieve this belief and hold it within our minds despite appearances or feelings then we can set about changing our circumstances. The bible verse above is about faith, but what is positive thinking but the implementation of faith. For many people the words positive thinking and affirmations conjure up visions of new age practitioners and crystal packing Wicca’s. But faith by any other name is still faith.

Internal Dialogue:

We don’t arrive at the places in our lives and with mindsets that we have by accident. The things that we internalize create the personalities that we have. Our lives are akin to a harvest. The seeds of doubt, uncertainty and inability that may have been implanted in our minds as we developed grow into weeds that choke off our happiness. To begin root out all the doubts and misgivings we harbor about ourselves, the first thing that has to change is our minds. We hold truths about our selves to be self evident based on years of internalization. But as it turns out many of the seeds that have grown into the weeds that are choking off our lives were planted by errant words or misguided individuals. When someone makes us feel dumb or inadequate or incompetent at our most vulnerable then we begin to internalize those ideas about ourselves and before long we are living our lives as if those labels fit us. Many of us grow into adult hood with those labels or feelings lurking just below the surface. No matter how much or how little outward success we achieve we are never quite living the lives that we could because our psyches have been branded. Have you ever wondered why some people with seemingly perfect lives aren’t happy? Perhaps the reason is because their inner sanctum is in turmoil. Who they believe they are bears little resemblance to what people see. The beginning to achieving internal balance is to modify our internal dialogue. Many times we condemn ourselves based on nothing more than the words of others. We don’t test the efficacy of their statements. We simply buy into them and live accordingly. So how do we break down years of faulty programming? Well I’m glad you asked. This is where affirmations come in. An affirmation is a positive key that you use to unlock the potential that lives within you.

Repetition:

For along time I knew about affirmations but I didn’t really understand how to make them benefit me. I would say them for a while but without true conviction or belief. My mindset was so ingrained that whenever I spoke something positive to myself my inner being would deny it. For instance, if I said to myself “I am a winner” and what would come back to me “no you are not”. I learned that in order for affirmations to be successful that I had to say them until I believed them. Chipping away at years of faulty programming was and is no easy task. Everything within us wants to remain at the status quo. Any upheaval to the current program is dispatched with haste. This is why perseverance and repetition is so important. For many of us we didn’t get to be the people we are overnight and we aren’t going to abracadabra and change ourselves. However, as time goes on we become more open to positive self talk. There begins the road to truly being able to embrace a life of positivity and abundance and more importantly being able to truly enjoy it.

Things You Should Know

1. You have value

2. You are strong

3. You are smart

4. You are blessed

5. You opinions are valid

6. No one defines your success but you

7. Your voice should be heard

Believe in you

Love you

Accept you

My Mom

mymama,
originally uploaded by demetria2.

This is a picture of my mom when she was about 23 years old. I think she may have been pregnant with me. She died five, almost six years ago now. I miss her tremendously. Time heals everything but just when you think you've got it licked something will happen and a mother's voice is what you need. Making a move to pick up the phone or to send an email only to realize that she's not there. Our relationship was fraught with drama but there was nobody on this earth that I loved more. I know not every parental relationship is great but really make an effort to appreciate what you have because all too quickly it's gone.

Me

Cloned Meat, Not So Fast

Why, have farmers stopped growing good old regular cows? Do I really want to eat animals that the FDA only undertook a cursory study to determine he efficacy of eating? No. A recent study. If they said. We have spent twenty years serving cloned meat to our children and on our dinner tables and none of our offspring have been born with four eyes or hooves or anything that may be construed as unseemly, I'd find that acceptable. What kind of recent study? The long term effects of eating cloned meat cannot possibly be available since the process is not old enough to be mainstream.

Equal education

Hi all,
I haven't really had time to get over here and I haven't really had a lot to say but recently something has been niggling at the back of my mind. Actually it's just a question I have. The American ecucational system and it's inequalities. I understand that the haves always have more and the world appreciates a boot strapper and concessions and scholarships are available to allow the less fortunate entree into the upper echelons of high societym but why did these things need to be put in place. I believe it is in part to cover over the glaring lack of preparation and curriculum shortfalls in some of our country's most unfortunate school districts. Families who can hitch their dreams to a star in the guise of suburbia with it;s better schools and availability of services but for those left behind in our nations slums the suffering continues. Children can learn. When babies burst forth from the womb into the world, they for the most part start life on equal mental footing. Taking for granted the geniuses, prodigies and gifted few. However most of us start out with the capabilities of learning. The only differences for most is where you are born. The penalty for being born into poverty is steep. Inadequate curriculum preparation, lack of programs that foster creativity in young minds, outdated and inaccurate textbooks. Children deserve to start out on equal footing, regardless of where their zipcodes are. In some ways the poor and downtrodden masses have lowered their expectations of themselves in response to the larger societies lack of expectation. Preparation is the key. In financially viable sectors children are prepared from day one to embrace their birthright and their innate greatness. In more financially desolate sectors, children are counted out before they are even given a chance.

In Retrospect

Everything must change

In the days following the levee break in New Orleans, I remember poignantly seeing the word REFUGEE splashed across my television screen and the huddled masses crying out for help; any help. Crying out for water, ice, food, any of the things that only hours before perhaps they’d taken for granted. Refugee - one seeking refuge. This is America, land of the free, home of the brave, land where our fathers died and so on. There are no refugees here. But, looking at those faces, the need, the want, the disbelief; the horror crystallized my understanding that anarchy is not so far removed from us after all. This could have just as easily been a foreign land, some third world country without even the barest of necessities. Perhaps that’s why so many took offense to the term. None of us wants to acknowledge how quickly things can fall apart. The very things that we put our trust in fail. The Superdome - undoubtedly a superstructure – was no shelter against the ravages of Mother Nature. Everything is transitory. When we set about to define ourselves as infinite, nature reminds us that we are not.

Nothing stays the same

In a moment, in an instant all you hold dear can be gone. The things that you believe are forever vanish in an instant. But more than the destruction of structures there is the laying open of festering wounds. The bearing of age old hurts. All the hatred and inequality living in New Orleans bubbled to the surface, buoyed by the cresting waters of the swollen Mississippi. Floating like bodies in the dank and fetid waters of change.

On Becoming

In recent months I've spent a significant amount of time going over my life in excruciating detail to determine how I went wrong. However, I determined that my assertion that I messed up is based on my assumption of what defines success and achievement. The realization that perhaps the path that I am on is configured differently than someone else's and maybe just maybe I'm not meant to live anyone's life but my own. Maybe I just am approaching life at a different pace or from a different angle. Perhaps these are just things I tell myself so I'll feel better. I'm not a attempting to make my inadequacies seem smaller than they actually are but I am attempting to embrace the whole package that is me. When things are not going the way that we think they should we tend to rake ourselves over the coals and never get the lesson that is in the pain. I'm not going to climb on the hokey bandwagon and regale you with tales of silver linings, but there is something to be said for downturns. Appreciation grows from overcoming.

Dog on Bike - Nuff Said

The Pursuit of Happyness - A Must See

This Christmas Will Smith brings the true story of Chris Gardner's road from homelessness to becoming a stock broker, to the big screen. If you've ever had a dream and circumstances seem to be against you, then you have to see this movie. The core of the movie is that you never give up, no matter what. Follow this link http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/thepursuitofhappyness to see the trailer and hear Will Smith talk about the experience of bringing Mr. Gardner's life to the big screen. This movie is sure to be an Oscar contender or the Academy has no soul. Mark your calendars now.